Black... Like the Color of my Soul

I'm generally an upbeat person. But today's events at work coupled with the ugly gray color of the sky, just about put me under. Luckily my house is warm and lovely and my husband is willing to cuddle.

I've wish-washed back and forth in my satisfaction at my job for a few months how. Up until now I've written it off as a knee-jerk reaction to what's currently going on or the fact that the 'honeymoon period' is over. This past week has made me rethink all of that and actually give some validation to how I'm feeling and how my work environment is affecting me. I'm tired of all the talking behind people's backs, the manipulation, the childlikeness. I was under the impression that we were all adults now. But apparently we are back in middle school. I am not happy there and I do not see how that is ever going to change.

But the real entrapment comes with my other circumstances right now. What am I supposed to do about this when I am really in no position to look for another job? My husband will be out of the job by the end of the week. He is the priority right now. But, too, it brings up the questions for me - where would I fit in? what am I even qualified to do? what can I offer an employer? The terrifying fact of the matter is that I am still not a college graduate. I know a lot of people who are who would beg to differ that it makes any difference. I would hope that the fact that I'm not a graduate and I've still gained a lot of valuable experience to put on my resume would speak well of me as a candidate for any job. But I'm afraid that the combination of lack of education and mix-matched work experience (especially currently) will just confuse the heck out of any potential employer. I've been made a supervisor over three wonderful girls, but I don't think I'm anywhere close to management material yet. However, putting myself in an employer's shoes, would I seem overqualified for a position that involves no supervising or management? I just don't know. It's all very confusing. I'm confusing myself. Am I confusing you?

Speaking of confusing... why, oh why is Glee still re-runs? Did the season end and I missed it? I just want them to come back!!! Is that to much to ask? I say no. Is anyone with me?