Farewell

Well, we're here...  the end.  I've decided to close up shop -- but let me tell you why.

Somewhere over the course of the past few years I've lost who I once was (corny and dumb, I know, but hear me out).  When I left the United States in August of 2003 (EIGHT YEARS AGO.... I can't believe it's been that long), I had no idea what I was going to do in Italy for an entire school year.  Well, it turns out that I was able to live out an entire nine months of my life being completely me.  I fell in love, I grew up. I found what I feel to be the most real Sarah Cate I've ever known.  Then something happened...  I had to go back home.

Now, no disrespect to my home because I adore it... I wouldn't be living here now if I didn't.  But then things started to get serious, as things tend to do.  I was faced with some really difficult decisions (that I completely imposed upon myself, of course).  Being crazy, desperate in love with someone halfway around the world will make a person get serious really fast.  I had to be with him, no matter what.  I still feel that way.  But because of being so completely headstrong, I did anything (and I do mean anything) to be where I wanted and when.  I worked, really hard.  I studied.  I filled out paperwork.  I called consulates.  Made ridiculous road trips to Detroit that I found out were then unnecessary -- all to marry the love of my life, which I do not regret for one moment.  But somewhere in that whole process, I grew up too much.  I got to be too serious.  Most importantly, I began to take myself too seriously.  And for those of you who have known me for quite some time, you know that that just isn't me.  Have I still acted crazy and dumb like my former hyperactive self at times?  Sure.  But any of that was always overshadowed about the more serious and grown-up things I had running through the back of my mind.

I am happy with my life right now.  I am beyond grateful for my new job which I adore.  I still love my husband just as much as I did that year in Italy and in all the subsequent years, too.  I am ecstatic that my husband and I have a home to call our very own and two dogs (and two parents, their dog and cat for the moment, too) to share it with.  But like I said, I've still lost my most authentic self somewhere along the way.

And I'm on a mission to get her back.

The old me would never have entitled her blog 'The UNfabulous Life'.  NEVER.  She knew how fabulous her life was and wanted to share its fabulousness with everyone -- even if she was obnoxious. I know you all have known that I haven't hardly written at all in months.  Well, let's suffice it to say that a stick has been thrown in my spokes and although it's been taking me down in slow motion, it has taken me down.  But in the process, it's held a mirror back to my face and shown me what I've shared with you here.

I have loved writing this blog, but it became a huge weight.  What will I write? Will anyone even care?  But most importantly it was the fact that I didn't care.  I've been more concerned with people seeing me as someone who has it all together instead of just being myself.  God, I could just hurt myself for writing that now.  That is not me.  So, this is the last post of The Unfabulous Life because in my opinion, if I'm not ready to tell people how truly fabulous my life really is, then I don't need to be writing for a blog named The Unfabulous Life.

I will be blogging again, somewhere else.  I haven't decided where.  I haven't decided when.  It might be months from now, it might be tomorrow.  Who knows?   But you can bet your bottom dollar that I will be telling readers then about how fabulous my life truly is.

The End