Cleaning out my closet.

I was completely productive today for the first time in a long time. Laundry, cleaning out and reassembling of closet and dresser, going through all the crap my parents cleaned out of their attic that "belongs" to me and the remaining shopping for our catering job on Thursday. Yikes. But it was all good.

I know I don't have a before picture, but trust me, it was bad. I couldn't even put away clean laundry - nowhere to put it! And now look!!!

Obviously only the right half is mine. Oh, and all the stuff on the shelf up top is my husband's, too. Yes, notice the pile of his shoes thrown in there on his side. Honestly, mine looked much the same before. I even brought myself to part with a few pair of shoes! Now I'm down to 35 pairs. I think I'm good. And I won't even show you my entire closet dedicated only to my purses. It's quite frankly embarrassing.

The next part of my day was spent taking a walk down memory lane. My parents recently cleaned out an attic space that was right outside my bedroom growing up. They decided to give all of my junk back to me. Needless to say it's been sitting in our spare bedroom in the basement for about 2 months now. I'm glad I dedicated a whole day to it because it took forever and was highly hilarious. I'm only giving a preview tonight, but be on the lookout for a very lengthy, very hysterical post soon, showcasing all my many masterpieces as a child. I wrote a lot of books as a child and reading through them, you'd swear I had ADD. But I didn't. Random, random, random. They're pretty awesome though. Also in the many, many boxes of stuff were pretty much every single one of my report cards, year-end reports, etc. from elementary school. Yeah, I spent a lot of time on those. I had to read what my teachers had to say about me. Most of it was good and the "critical" things they had to say just made me laugh today because I know exactly what they were talking about. I took pictures of some things that I ended up throwing away and I still have some things to sort through but it's coming. It's going to take a while though! But for now, enjoy some of these gems I found.

Giant heads, tiny little bodies

Yes, you can make out my name in the blue up top. And yes, that's my whole work of art.

Yes, my artistic ability is astounding. I found old photos (every school photo, sports photo, etc. ever taken) that were pretty awesome. I feel it's a valuable lesson to learn for when I have children. I'll order the bare minimum, considering that all of my photos, in all their different sizes, were still in their envelopes - only one cut out. Also, parents? I feel it's acceptable to discourage your daughters from parting their hair down the middle. It will save them a lot of discomfort when looking at old photos later in life.

Be careful what you wish for

So, I'm just beginning to understand the quote "Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it". And now, of course, it's crystal clear. We want a "food business" more than anything in the world - have for a long time. Now things could potentially be taking off and I'm slightly petrified! It's completely exciting, absolutely. But we  may very soon find ourselves at the crossroads of jumping off the ledge or planting both feet firmly on solid ground. Jumping off the ledge could potentially involve my husband quitting his current job and doing catering full time. Honestly, the money's better and he would just continue to have scheduling conflicts were he to continue working and catering at the same time. But if he quits his current job, there goes the stability. If we begin to depend on catering for the other half of our income, we're dependent upon people calling us and requesting it. That's what scares me.

No decisions have been made, not even close. But I'm just seeing where things seem to be going and it looks good. Yeah, good and scary! It's a leap of faith. I've been there before but those seem to get scarier with age, no? What do you think?

Courtesy of

Radical Religion

Arthur was hysterical. Highly recommend it. I like it because it keeps things light and doesn't waste too much time on developing the stuff you're not really interested in anyway! This obviously leaves more time for the more important stuff - hilarity.

I am currently, willfully yanking myself out of my laughing high by watching 20/20. They are profiling the Independent Fundamental Baptists (IFB). I think I may vomit. Promoting spanking of two week old babies for crying too much? Condemning women for "letting themselves go" after they catch a man? And they claim to be using the Bible to justify all of this?! Unbelievable. I know that I am not as up on my Scripture  as I should be; however, I can say with 100% certainty that those teachings are not from the Bible and the God that I know. Oh, let's not forget, they molest their children, rape underage girls and generally have their way with girls however they like. Nothing of that nature should ever have the name of God put on it. It makes me so ashamed and outraged - people who use the name of God to justify their crazy, just wrong, antics. Want to be a man? Step up and out from behind what you believe to be your "shield" of religion and be your true self - a pervert, sex offender, rapist, etc. The list could go on and on. However you slice it, it's sick, wrong, immoral and maddening. My only comfort is that these people will one day have to answer to someone infinitely higher than me and ultimate judgement will be passed. The same goes for those who abuse animals and people, just in case you were wondering where I stood on those, too.

So Fresh and So Clean Clean

Well, I hope you all are enjoying the new look of The Un-fabulous Life. I had a lot of fun playing around with it. It's Thursday evening. So close to Friday and the weekend. And yes, I so so so excited. I'm also contemplating using the remainder of my work bonus on some sprucing up of myself. I need me some new clothes. Destination? Forever 21. It will be my first experience in our newly opened local store. I'm looking forward to it.

Speaking of fresh and clean. I'm currently watching an old episode of Dr. Phil. It's titled "Hobo Dad". I saw that title on the menu and it immediately drew me in. I don't typically mind Dr. Phil. The guy's pretty smart and I like him. Have you ever noticed how all the people are made up nicely and dressed well? That's all due to their staff and it's nice to do that for regular people like you and me who then have to be seen on TV. But on this particular episode, they have caught up with a "runaway" dad who hasn't seen his daughter in 17 years. He ran to avoid paying child support and apparently lives in a raft and goes up and down the Mississippi. A regular Huck Finn. Now while the ex and the daughter and everyone else on the show look beyond presentable, they have left Mr. Hobo in his overalls (with only one shoulder done). Really, guys? Let's be real. I'm sure you did that for effect, but it just looks weird and wrong. Give the guy a fighting chance at least!

Well, I promised I'd show you where our home purchases ended up, so here they are! Some of them are hard to get perspective on and I've also come to grips with the fact that I just can't take pictures. But enjoy.

See our "Trattoria" art in the basement

Salt & Pepper in the dining room

Fork & Spoon in the dining room

Pepper detail in the dining room

One side of back deck with lantern

Lantern on the other side

Property Virgins

As much as I hate to admit it, I love me some HGTV. I get on little kicks where I watch it all the time, then I'll go weeks without watching at all. Where I'm going with this requires a bit of a disclaimer: I am not a parent. I have made that clear. However, I am a homeowner who one day would like to have children. These people kill me on some of these shows. House Hunters. There's a couple with a young child (less than two). They don't want any stairs because of safety for their baby daughter. They actually walked away from a house they loved because it had some stairs. News flash, people.  Your daughter will one day (very soon, actually) be bigger and have better coordination and it will no longer be any more dangerous to go up and down stairs than it is for you and me. I also witnessed a show that followed a very picky first-time home buyer. She countered and countered back and forth with the owner over their refrigerator. Yes, the refrigerator. Was it super special or industrial grade? Not even close. Just a regular side-by-side stainless steel. She quibbled over approximately $1000 and lost the house. What a waste. I also can't fathom all the people who harp on existing paint colors in the house. Paint is the cheapest and easiest thing to fix in a house! It is the last thing to allow to be a deal breaker! It is true that your home is probably the biggest and most important investment you will make in your lifetime. It should be a place that you love, but let's be real. Most of us will never be able to build our dream house, so compromises must be made. You have to look past some of the things you may not like and look at the potential that exists.

Polka dot house

Luckily, I'm pretty good at seeing past ugly carpet and ugly paint. Actually, it's one of my favorite things to do. I am a before/after junkie - for just about anything. I love watching The Princess Diaries, not because the acting is that spectacular or the storyline so great, but I can't resist the part where Anne Hathaway gets made over from a Sesame Street wooly monster into a chic, sleek young lady. I love What Not to Wear, I love Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. I love seeing the possibilities in things and people. Not only on the outside, but also on the inside. Rather than focusing on my outer potential, I think I'd be best served working on my inside possibilities for the time being. I think I may need some work.

Violent Torpedo of Truth

Our biggest catering job yet went off without a hitch today! Considering that we've never cooked for 80 people before and this one seemed easier, I'd say that have learned from our past mistakes. I love realizing that I've witnessed growth. It's good for the soul.

I, personally, am sick of hearing about Charlie Sheen, but why not? I'm going to talk about him now too. First, why on earth does he get to go on "tour"? To do what? Spout off craziness like it's going out of style? Apparently, the answer is yes. King of the warlocks, tiger blood? WINNING! Or losing. The thing that really kills me though is that people actually bought tickets and thought it would be entertaining. And I find it hysterical now that people walked out and were whining about how terrible it was. Really? You're surprised that it sucked. Not too bright are you? I mean, come on! It's called Violent Torpedo of Truth Defeat is not an Option

I really find it sad that our culture is such that people with addiction gain notoriety because of their senseless ramblings. And it's a shame that his show got cancelled. Two and a Half Men was funny! I guess the pressures of being famous push people who have the world on a silver platter to act stupidly and ruin the good things they have going for them.

Have you seen the story about a pig's foot being sent to Representative Peter King in Washington? Who does that?! People are just crazy. The accompanying note was laid with anti-Semitic phrases. King is chairman of the House Homeland Security Committee and has recently been involved in hearings regarding Muslim radicalization in America. You know what I say? Can we please just leave the religion out of it? It's not a good idea for anyone and it makes us all seem like and turn into a bunch of lunatics. If you don't like a country, then don't like the country. If you don't like a group of people, then don't like a group of people. Don't use God to justify your craziness. And please don't misunderstand. I am not talking about Muslims. I am not talking about Jews, Christians or otherwise. And I'm not talking about any particular nationality, either. I'm talking about all of us. Every religion has a violent act, whether throughout history or recently, attached to its name. If you want to be a crazy, do it on your own account, but don't muddy a religion's name to make yourself feel better about it.

'Roid Rage

What I thought was the plague a little over a week ago actually turned out to be some nasty poison ivy - something I figured that at this point I wasn't allergic to. Turns out I was wrong. So, the doctor gave me some 'roids and they totally worked. The plague is gone (mostly) but now I'm apparently going through withdrawal. My entire body hurts to be touched. My clothes are hurting my body. It's a mix between when you have a bruise and when you're sunburned. It ain't pleasant. Even worse is tonight when I had to see people - and they wanted to touch me. Grinned through it but OUCH! Luckily there was a plethora of doctors at this particular, joyous gathering and it's all supposedly normal - should be gone tomorrow. Suffice it to say, I hope I never have to take steroids again!

It's time for a change. April is here and I have made so many promises to myself regarding its arrival. Now that the bulk of my job stress has been taken care of, I can hopefully follow through on some of those promises. The major one is to take better care of me. I desperately need a haircut, manicure, pedicure and probably an eyebrow wax. I feel bad for my husband mostly - it's definitely not cute. I also feel that one of my really cute refrigerator magnets is becoming increasingly true.

In case you can't read that, it says: Both of us can't look good at the same time. It's either me or the house. SO TRUE. We have been obsessing over our house since we moved in - it's only natural that something else will have to take a hit, namely, my personal grooming/appearance. In the photo, I'm pretty presentable. Well, take a look at how our kitchen is at this very moment.

We're in full catering lockdown. The kitchen looks like a war zone. And just so you know, there is tomato splatter on the cabinets. Does my husband cook really wonderful food? Yes. But don't envy me too much. I have to participate in the clean up. Luckily, we have really done most everything there is to do in our house, so I can focus my energy and efforts elsewhere - myself. Selfish, I know. But it's time and it needs to be done.

Our most recent purchases are pretty gorgeous, aren't they?

These amazing lanterns will take the place of hanging flower baskets on our back deck. They have a glass cylinder in the middle. They're pretty awesome!

This will be hung in our basement on our red walls. We find all sorts of things with Italian writing on them and just can't help ourselves. Trattoria!!!

These and the ones below will grace our dining room walls. It's painted a light gray with white trim. Don't worry we do have some color - and our table is always set! See below.

Living room

Well, tonight's post sure is full of gratuitous photos! Anyway, I'll be sure to post the final resting place of all our new purchases for your viewing pleasure!