I haven't been writing this week because I have literally been too caught up in my thoughts to do so. I can't stop thinking. Thinking about friends, thinking about my life, thinking about the future, thinking about the present. You name it, I thought about it.
Most importantly my heart is breaking tonight for so many friends. It seems that all around me this week, dear friends (old and new) are dealing with some really serious shit. I usually try to keep it clean, so pardon my language, but sometimes that's just what it is. One is bad, two is tough, but three - well that just pushes one to the edge, does it not? It has been a long time since I've felt sadness, true sadness for a friend (or better to say for anyone other than myself or for my circumstances). I know that sounds lame, but it's the truth. I feel like I'm a pretty empathetic person. I understand how things can be upsetting to friends and I'm not laughing in their face or anything, but I usually go on about my business, just keeping it in the back of my mind somewhere. But this stuff has been at the forefront of my mind non-stop. Things always happen in threes, isn't that what they say? Another thing to add to my three is of course the storm damage that I drive through every day, several times. Things are getting better and my area was not by far the worst hit, but I feel the weight of it every time I drive down the road and see the huge uprooted trees on both sides of the road, mangled power lines still blocking driveways and tree removal crews and people from the power company working around the clock. It's a lot to take in. And yes, despite the fact that it's been a week now, I still nearly run off the road every time I leave my house. I need to focus on the road. It could be a problem.
Not trying to throw a pity party. Really, that's not what this is all about. Mostly, I just really felt the need to write tonight for the first time all week. I tried the night before last. I wrote three lines and then I just couldn't do it. I could not subject my lovely readers to such rubbish. But I do thank you for allowing me share my thoughts on these vague but trying matters. Don't laugh or judge for what I'm about to try to express, but... I'm in the state of mind where I'm so sad for everyone and everything that all I imagine myself wanting to do is just hug the whole world and try to make it better. I know that all I can do is pray. Quite frankly, I've been finding even that difficult to do when I can't stop thinking. (PS - you have no idea how long it's taking me to write this.)
To sum up: A few things I've learned this week.
1. Never ignore a friend who is hurting, no matter how bad or not bad you think it is. We could all use a little more love and compassion in our lives.
2. Cheating is bad - don't do it.
3. Mother Nature is completely amazing and terrifying all at once. When she's good to us, she's very good. But when she's bad, well, take cover.
4. We could all stand to be a little bit nicer to each other. We all deal with so many emotions, bad and good, everyday. Your friendly smile or kind words could be just what someone needs to turn their day around.
The End
No comments:
Post a Comment